I carried off our ol’ CRT television not in plunder but in barter for coinage back in 1994. It is no longer shipshape, and it gains an extra bright line near the bottom and contracts its picture into a narrow band you couldn’t hit with musket fire at a hundred paces.
I be hoping we need not rig up the minicaravelle and set forth to raid shops until we find one that marks the spot where value and cost meet. Should we need such new treasure, that would be under a yard of LCD screen and 800 silver dollars.
A crewman from another ship has told us the tale of a local craftsman who, legend holds, can fix these infernal devices. We be hopin’, but first I must set up a parlay with ‘im.
Curiously, during this same week, the good ship Videotron came abreast and boarded us with an offer we did not refuse. We will be upsailin’ to digital television feed for about the same price that we were paying afore. Our old Telemax standard cable cost us $38; we will in future harvest digital cable for about the same price.
We be pillaged of some channels that we never watch, but that be no loss. We gain reception quality, a bugaboo that has vexed us. We’re taking the standard package ($14), adding local American channels ($5), the Anglo package ($17), and RDS ($1.50; for that strange Indian game called “Habs hoki”). We lose a passel of channels, mainly French cable, that we never watch. The Illico digital cannon and installation cost $20, once.
We be sailin’ into the sun, matey. Afore ye know it, I may even get a cell phone.
Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day.