“Must Love Dogs”

You’d have to, to sit through it.

Because dinner ran late and all “Munich” shows seemed to start either 7:000-ish or too late for us at 10:30, we stayed in and watched – er, tried to watch “Must Love Dogs”.

Last night, we watched “Bewitched”, which had detectable levels of wit and charm, and certainly put a new twist on turning old sitcoms into new movies. Gotta hand it to those Ephrons. Nicole Kidman doesn’t hurt either.

But “Must Love Dogs”? I was ready to turn it off in the middle of the very first scene. The word that did it was “sis”. The Diane Lane character’s sister pronounces that word with enough emphasis to painfully reveal just how expository that whole kitchen scene was. It was awful. Elvi convinced me to give the movie more time, and what little John Cusack we saw made the next few minutes bearable, but when Diane Lane (no, I don’t remember the character’s name, and I don’t care enough to look it up) yelled at the butcher, that was it.

Fine, she’s divorced. She only wants one chicken breast. The butcher tells her she can have a whole chicken for 75 cents more. And she explodes over the fact that she doesn’t want to have three quarters of a chicken go to waste.

Hey, we have iceboxes now, by gum. And, as I recall, leftovers are the single person’s time-saver.

The clincher for Elvi was seeing the little boy smacked by a pole a scene later. His nose bleeds profusely, and he says “Oh, it’s a gusher!”

Ha. Ha ha. Oh, it’s a knee-slapper.

Elvi and I spent the next hour watching reruns of “The Simpsons” and “South Park” instead.

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