Networking at work

So my dad has a cousin in Israel, whose daughter knows some people, and word filtered through the mishpochah that I should send a book back up that chain.

Today comes word that my book is in the possession of Uzi Dayan – yes, son of Moshe – and is bound for the hands of the commander of the Israeli Air Force, Maj. Gen. Eliezer Shkedy.

That’s something, I suppose. I hope one of them buys a book from me.

In other writing news, a wannabe producer wants me to write a script on spec for him. I’m a wannabe writer not making any money writing for myself, so I figure at worst it’ll improve my writing and give me an impetus to write. I’ve been finding it hard to put fictional words down between school and work.

I’m not at liberty to discuss the topic of this spec publicly, but it’s the story of an American artist of sorts in the ’30s. I have a box of books on my subject to tackle before I start outlining. Wish me luck.

Bonus thoughts on the power of illuminated pumpkins:

I’m home while the wife and children go trick or treating in Pointe Claire. Usually, they all go out and I stay home and man the candy bowl. Normally, we get dozens of kids. This year, we’re still in the single digits as of this post.

Our front of our house is well decorated with cobwebs (real and fake), pumpkins, and plastic decorations – but we didn’t carve any pumpkins. I wonder if the lack of that singular symbol is keeping kids away.

Nazi memorabilium

The wife’s aunt found an interesting doodad in her house:

The AGW Hive Mind (grumpy old men who used to beat each other to virtual hell in a flight sim and now do so over eveything else) helped me find out what it is.

I was able to decipher the German myself. A Landrat is the district administrator, sort of the mayor of a county, and des Kreisses Euskirchen means the district of Euskirchen, which is on the border with Belgium. The hive mind helped me find out what this was, however.

It’s a licence plate tag, which would allow the Landrat to park anywhere, sort of like a New York City doctor. The Hive Mind found two other examples out there.

I’m still left with a few puzzles. How was it attached to the licence plate? Who took it from the Landrat’s car? What was it doing in the house my wife’s grandfather built – he didn’t serve in the war and he certainly didn’t hoard Nazi goodies out of pride.

Book page

I finally made a Web page for my book. I can’t figure out how to put a PayPal auto-pay link, mostly because I haven’t tried. I’ve received no news from the Jewish Public Library yet on whether or not I’ll hold a launch there.

While steeped in that particular cultural theme, allow me to present some haiku:

The months I carried you.
Vomiting, headaches, nausea.
But never mind.

Lacking fins or tail
The gefilte fish swims with
Great difficulty.

Beyond Valium,
Peace is knowing one’s child
Is an internist.

On Passover we
Opened the door for Elijah
Now our cat is gone.

After the warm rain
The sweet smell of camellias
Did you wipe your feet?

Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
Of her friend’s disease.

Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
To the seventh grade.

Testing the warm milk
On her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.

The sparkling blue sea
Reminds me to wait an hour
After my sandwich.

Like a bonsai tree,
Is your terrible posture
At my dinner table.

Jews on safari:
Map, compass, elephant gun,
Hard sucking candies.

The same kimono
The top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann’s.

Mom, please! There is no
Need to put that dinner roll
In your pocketbook.

Seven-foot Jews in
The NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.

Sorry I’m not home
To take your call. At the tone
Please state your bad news.

Is one Nobel Prize
So much to ask from a child
After all I’ve done?

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!

Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my
Head in the oven.

Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
Male-pattern baldness.