Happy anniversary, “All Your Base”

An article at Ars Technica informed me that this week was the 20th anniversary of one of the first pieces of online content to go viral before the term “viral” was even coined to mean that.

Here’s what I wrote about “All Your Base” for Netsurfer Digest, published 20 years ago on February 23, 2001. I guess I should have used the term “viral” instead of “contagious”:

All Your Base Are Belong to Us!

Every so often, some insubstantial piece of online fluff catches on and spreads through bulletin boards and e-mail lists like nerdy wildfire. Usually, the best we can do is tell you, “Hey, there’s this nifty insubstantial piece of online fluff that has caught on and spread like nerdy wildfire.” Such items are rarely understandable yet contagious – the perfect example is Mahir Cagri’s “I kiss you” page. One of the latest such contagions is “All Your Base”, a Flash movie based on an old arcade game called Zero Wing, famed for its Japlish subtitles. Take those subtitles, insert them into everyday situations like some kind of conspiracy, and add a techno beat so catchy it could easily get you dancing at your local club, and you get this. But that’s not all. “All Your Base” has a history that we’ve rooted out. The concept started last summer with a Wayne Newtony parody of the game’s intro screens and developed in a thread (which we can’t reach) at Tribal War Forums that inspired still photos. These stills were then incorporated in a non-Wayne Newtony “All Your Base” techno version. There’s also a FAQ on the game. Somebody’s got to release that song as a dance mix….
All Your Base: http://www.thefever.com/AYB2.swf
Start: http://www.overclocked.org/OCzerowing.htm
Stills: http://www.planetstarseige.com/allyourbase/index.html
Game FAQ: http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/genesis/file/zero_wing.txt

Flash is dead, but the mashup lives on….

The best sweet Jewish brisket

Why, hello again.

Most of my personal online writing has moved to social media, but this recipe is too good to hide from the search engines, so I figured this is the right place to park it.

For years, I’d been searching for the best sweet Jewish brisket – a style that my kids used to call “candy meat”. After much experimentation, I have combined ingredients and techniques from three recipes into this masterpiece.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Ingredients

• 5 lbs brisket (first cut or second cut are both fine)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• Two or three onions
• 1 cup honey-garlic sauce (I use VH brand)
• 1 cup barbecue sauce (I like a half cup of Diana original and a half cup of Diana spicy but for a more traditional taste, use no spicy)
• 0.5 cup brown sugar

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325°F.

Lay out a piece of aluminium foil that will be large enough to wrap all the way around the brisket and have extra foil available for crimping. Heavy-duty foil works best. You may have to use a second piece of foil as a cover over the top of the meat.

Slice the onions and lay them out on the foil as a bed for your meat. Fold up the sides of the foil so that liquid from the meat will not run off.

Heat the olive oil over medium-high heat in a heavy pan large enough to accommodate the meat. Use two burners and a roasting pan, if necessary. Add the brisket and brown well on both sides, about 10 minutes in total. Transfer the meat to the bed on onion slices and fold up the foil alongside the meat. The goal is to leave as little space as possible but be reasonable about it.

Add the vinegar to the pan and deglaze it, scraping all the browned bits from the bottom with a wooden spoon. Turn off the heat.

Pour the honey-garlic sauce, barbecue sauce, and brown sugar into a large bowl (larger than you think you need). Pour in the vinegar and bits from the pan and stir to mix. Pour this mixture over the brisket in the foil.

Crimp the foil over the meat and sauce and crimp it tightly. The goal is to create an airtight seal so the meat braises as it cooks. If your foil does not reach all the way over the meat, use a second piece of foil as a lid and crimp that to the bottom piece of foil. Make sure the seam is as close to the top as possible to avoid leaks.

Transfer the foil package to a roasting pan (to catch any potential leaks). Heavy-duty foil handles this transfer much better than standard foil.

Cook the brisket for three hours (for five pounds of meat).

When the meat is done, hold the foil package over the large bowl in which you mixed the sauce and cut the foil so that all the liquid runs out of the foil and into the bowl. There will be more liquid than you started with and some onions may fall out. It’s okay. I told you to use a big bowl.

While the meat rests, skim any fat out of the sauce.

Transfer the meat to a cutting board, leaving the onions in the foil, and cut the meat against the grain into slices a quarter-inch thick. Put the slices on a platter, cover them with the onions, and pour a little sauce over that.

Serve, with the rest of the sauce in a gravy boat or sauce pitcher.

Dear Canada

Dear Conservative Party,

We want an adult to lead our country, but not a paranoid, neurotic adult who refuses to recognize the consequences of his actions.

Dear National Democratic Party,

Yes, you were the official opposition, but that one ad that claimed you were a better choice because you had less ground to make up made you sound like a petulant seven year old. And desperate. Your whole campaign was immature.

Dear fans of proportional representation,

You should start posting of Facebook about how unfair this election is. Some 60% of the country voted against the Liberal Party. The Liberals should receive only a minority government of 134 seats (they expect 184 as I wrote this), the Conservatives should get 108 seats (instead of 102), the NDP should have 66 (41), the Bloc Quebecois 16 (10), and the Green 11 (1). Additionally, there could be an independent and maybe a Libertarian.

Dear Liberal Party,

Here’s your ball. Run with it until you trip.