Sunday, May 21, 2006

Rainy and downcast

Montrealers have been living under the edge of the system that has flooded Boston and soaked New England. It's been raining off and on here since Tuesday, but it's more depressing than threatening to property.

I've been in a bit of a funk, but it's not the rain. Usually, I feel down when I don't do anything. This week, I finished up a research job, did a bit for Alex, and wrapped up the first draft of "72 Virgins". But I still feel blah.

Fans of my vehicle trouble will be delighted to hear that the van stalled on Elvi early this morning as she returned from a DUBB show. It's a holiday weekend in Canada, so we don't have to scramble to get the kids to school tomorrow. Then again, nobody will work on the van tomorrow either, so the Monday holiday just delays the inconvenience.

Part of the problem is cash flow, which is tight with Elvi in grad school. She has decided to take her master's rather than fast-tracking into a Ph.D., program. She'll apply for jobs and doctorate programs. In the meantime, we're essentially living on a credit line bought with the house's increased property value. It has more than doubled since we bought it in 1999. Thankfully.

I talked a bit about things with Elvi, and coincidentally with Alex when I saw him yesterday. He boiled the problem down into a demi-glace of disappointment. Basically, I'm doing a bunch of little things. I'm writing a successful short or two. I'm doing research jobs. I'm teaching part-time. But there's no grand plan. As Alex put it, "a bunch of little things don't add up to much." That's it. Damn those writers and their keen, delicious insight.

I have no grand plan. I roll forward, picking things up things like a Katamari Damacy, but also leaving a trail behind me so I never get bigger. And lately, I'm picking up broken pipes, broken dryers, a need for new glasses and contact lenses that I can't afford, and now a broken van.

Alex suggested I look into writing for animation, which is a big market in Montreal. If you see a "Cailliou" in which he frets over his eyesight and makes stupid cooking references, you'll know I succeeded.

Bonus birthday wishes:

Amid all this, I forgot my brother's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday!

My sister's birthday is today. I doubt she reads 101, but just in case: happy birthday!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, bro.

May 21, 2006 4:32 PM  
Blogger Systemaddict said...

^^^ Darn, I thought you were speaking about me....but 1) I'm not your brother and 2) it's a good 6 months before my birthday...huh...

I know the feeling. The bleh-

I've started to set goals and restrictions for myself- High goals that likely are unattainable at this current juncture...but even if I fall just short...I'll be closer than before, and so on...the little things do add up eventually. Just gotta frame them right...

And man- that research job, though maybe difficult with personal relations at times, sounds killer. Good on you.


May 23, 2006 12:36 PM  
Blogger Wily said...

Cailliou?! If you get a gig writing for "Cailliou", have his mom start breeding poisonous snakes.

Cailliou. Uggh. Kids like that end up being attacked by birds.

May 24, 2006 10:03 PM  

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