"101" rewrite

I could swear I promised myself I'd start with a legitimate treatment this time....

The reviews I received for the first draft of "101" I pretty much expected: good writing; good setting; lousy sense of drama and emotion. That's what you get when you let journalists write fiction.... I'm encouraged by the few readers who tell me they get sucked in so hard, they read it through without stopping. It is a great story, and I couldn't make it up if I tried - apparently.

I'm tearing my hair out trying to invest these guys with more emotional juice. I think it's working, but I'm not sure.

I've gone about 20 pages into a fairly significant rewrite, and I'm too close to tell whether I'm on the right track or falling into the same old pitfalls.

To borrow a line from "Sheep's End": "You're a cold, cold man, Hawth."

Bonus fantasy baseball whine:

My NL 4x4 fantasy baseball team has just about an entire lineup of injured players:

C - Todd Greene, out for most of year
1B Doug Mientkewicz, DL
2B Jose Castillo, out for year
3B Scott Rolen, out for year
SS Kaz Matsui, out for most of year
OF Ryan Freel, out for month
OF Brad Hawpe, out for most of year
OF Lance Berkman, was out for two months
SP Ben Sheets, out for year