Wednesday, December 14, 2005

And now, a first page

Aside from the public comments on the page-plus I posted below, several people have written privately for more. (My e-mail address is available on my profile page.)

To placate the teeming sprinkle, and to test the screenplay CSS I just installed, may I present the first bit of "Sheep's End".



  • EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - AFTERNOON
  • A man on foot and a smaller figure on a donkey travel a dirt road that cuts through a meadow.
  • HAWTHORN strides with the easy pace of an experienced long-distance traveler. He wears worn leather armor of the barbarian clans of the western steppes. BREN, on the donkey, is an adult yelding, a race of little people. He's four feet of fearless ego.
  • The companions travel light. The donkey packs a rolled tent, a few small bags, some rope, and a lute.
  • They come to a large sign by the side of the road, which gradually climbs the ridge ahead. The sign is some sort of list, in an archaic alphabet. Hawthorn ponders it.
  • HAWTHORN
  • Get off your ass and get over here.
  • Bren slides off the donkey.
  • BREN
  • Ho ho! You are so clever. Very funny, "my ass". Did you know I only wash my ass once a week? Ha! I try to get my ass a good rubdown once a day. Ha ha!
  • Bren studies the sign.
  • HAWTHORN
  • Can you read it?
  • BREN
  • Of course. "Welcome to Sheep's End" and it has a list of tolls for the bridge and citizens pay half a crown, visitors pay five crowns, and elves and yeldings pay ten crowns. Ten crowns to cross a bridge? I've never been so insulted in my life!
  • HAWTHORN
  • What about that time -
  • BREN
  • I said I've never been so insulted in my life. Well, at least my ass is free. Although if I had two asses, I'd apparently have to pay another five crowns and - don't move!
  • Hawthorn moves his hand to his sword pommel and freezes. Bren carefully removes his staff-sling from his back and loads a smooth slug from a belt pouch.


You know, that was about as much time as it took to mock up the image.... The only pitfall is that Blogger interprets the carriage returns in your layout, so you have to make everything one line - ugly in code, nice on Web.

Bonus good news:

I meet tomorrow with Robert the director for notes on the above and the subsequent 90 pages.

4 Comments:

Blogger Scott the Reader said...

I like it.

December 14, 2005 4:28 PM  
Blogger Konrad West said...

Woohoo. I like it.

Lord of the Rings meets ... I don't know, some kind of comedy that says "ass" a lot.

Love the ass jokes, BTW.

December 14, 2005 11:44 PM  
Blogger Webs said...

I think I just found my poster slogan!

December 14, 2005 11:49 PM  
Anonymous Maya said...

Holy crap that South Park version of you is DEAD on. That's f*cking fantastic.

keep going with this script, it's gold.

...

HYPNOTOAD!

M

December 15, 2005 1:07 AM  

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