Wednesday, April 02, 2008

A Canadian no-call list

By the end of September, Canada will implement a do-not-call list by which most telemarketers must abide. A variety of organizations may legally ignore the list: registered charities; newspapers; survey companies; and, of course, political parties and campaigns. No, the politicians will not allow us to forbid them from asking for money. As well, any company that a Canadian has contacted may take advantage of a six-month window of opportunity to call back. That's twice as long as American companies get under identical circumstances.

The CRTC will run the program and has some information on how to register your phone numbers. There's an easier way, however.

Michael Geist, law professor and Canadian consumer-rights crusader, has opened iOptOut, which allows you to apply for the Canadian do-not-call list as broadly as possible or as targeted as you like. Want only Rogers, Columbia House, and Air Canada to reach you? Click a few buttons and it's done. It's an amazing service.

Bonus joke:

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, connect, and leave together for his place.

He shows her around his apartment. Three shelves line one wall of his bedroom, stacked with dozens of soft, cuddly teddy bears. It's obvious to the woman that the man has spent time lovingly arranging them. She's touched by the thought he's put into the display. The smaller bears sit along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears occupy the middle one, and several enormous bears run along the top shelf with their cute ears just grazing the ceiling.

The woman finds it strange that such an obviously masculine guy has such a large collection of teddy bears, and she's silently impressed by his unexpected sensitive side.

The couple shares a bottle of wine and they chat. He's smart, too. She finds herself thinking that maybe this could be the guy! He could be the one! The future father of her children!

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss. The passion builds. He lifts her in his arms romantically and carries her into his bedroom. They rip off each other's clothes and make passionate love. The woman responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. She's overwhelmed.

After the intense, fantastic session with this sensitive guy, the woman lies in bed arm in arm with this amazing guy. She rolls over, gently strokes his chest, and coyly asks, "Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says, "Not bad. Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."