Thing a thong

This is old news, but I just found it. Geniusbeauty.com reports on LA-area ob-gyn Dr. Lisa Masterson's research on the dangers of G-strings. They are not all fun and games.

(The article states that the good doctor's name is Liza Masterson, but I think she's Lisa Masterson, ob-gyn to the stars and sometime guest of Oprah.)

The article claims that Masterson "released the results of her study a while ago". I did a literature search and I can't find any evidence of the study, but who am I to stand in the way of medical science?

Some of the health dangers of G-strings and thongs are understandable. The fabric can stay moist and breed bacteria, and the rear fabric can become a bridge for bacteria to go from one orifice to another. Skin abrasions from tight underwear might be not seem to be a serious health risk, but OK, I'll grant that.

That's not all, though: "...Statistics suggest that women wearing g-strings run a greater risk of injuring their genitals during a fall or traffic accident." Great googly moogly! Ladies, make sure you don't wear thongs for anything more dangerous than watching TV.

How can you minimize the danger otherwise? Dr. Masterson provides a few tips, including this gem: "Do not wear g-strings when the weather is hot and wet."

Let's be careful down there.

Bonus patent:

Dr. Masterson is not only a source of health care advice, but she's an inventor. She owns a patent for underwear that can make you look like you have tattoos.

Go, science!